Friday, January 6, 2023

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer"

And 2022 has beaten a record of asking. The most often question was: Did I ever know what I want in the future? I would say yes, maybe 3/4 years ago. It's not like my goals or dreams have completely changed, but I need to start planning them more specific. It is happening to me, that someone asks me where I want to be in the next 5, 10 years and I cannot answer. 

Many people will think I pitch it strong but the ones who know me are aware that my comfort zone is getting out it. The word routine bores me just from hearing it and I always have the need to complicate my life when it's getting easier. Addicted to getting out of the comfort zone and in love with making new experiences. And at the moment I'm seeing quite a lot of things in my life that I don't like, and I'm not willing to do nothing about it. 

Before it was quite easy to say that my dream was to live abroad, to travel all over the world and to keep my "connection" with horses. But how?

My problem is that I cannot settle down on a place, as long as I haven't visit all the places which are on my bucket list. Neither can I settle down on a place, as long as I keep falling in love with some of the places I visit and the only thing that goes through my mind all the time is: "I need to stay in this country for a while". (Not forever). 

And the worse of it, it's when you cannot really open yourself to the people around you. I don't tell them all the options my future has. And the reason is, I don't want to give up again on something, just because that something may not work with my plans, when God is the only one who knows the path.


And after all these mixed thoughts, it comes a timid truth: Next to you is the only place where I could ever settle down. 

How many places I would have called home, if I didn't call you mine




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